


All in a Day's Work

by TheAvoidableInevitable



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Spy messing with people, breif mention of Heavy x Sasha
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-03
Updated: 2015-07-15
Packaged: 2018-03-28 21:55:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3871096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAvoidableInevitable/pseuds/TheAvoidableInevitable
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"When Spy wasn't on the battlefield, stealing intelligence, or on a mission, he was messing with his teammates, whether he was running from an enraged mercenary who was trying to get his belongings back or slipping things into people's food and drinks- usually Sniper's coffee, though."</p>
<p>My best attempt at a funny story following Spy's shenanigans around the base. Enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"What the hell? I told you to fuck off, Spy!"  
"But, mon lapin, your mother's cookies are just too good!"  
Spy teased, waving one of the chocolate chip cookies around in the air.  
"Spy! Don't you dare talk about my ma!"  
Scout was quaking with anger as he snatched up the freshly delivered box of home-made cookies. Spy just let him take them, he hadn't even eaten any of the cookies, he just liked watching Scout make a huge fuss over a box of baked goods from his mommy.  
He would probably insult him later about it, like, 'were you looking for mommy's cookies in that saw blade you just got dominated by?' or 'good shot, Scout, but not as good as your mother's cookies' or maybe 'do those cookies taste good? Your mother let me add some of my own batter to them'.  
Okay, maybe not the last one, but it made him laugh, thinking about it. When Spy wasn't on the battlefield, stealing intelligence, or on a mission, he was messing with his teammates, whether he was running from an enraged mercenary who was trying to get his belongings back or slipping things into people's food and drinks- usually Sniper's coffee, though.

-

"Well, the difference bein' that one is a job and the other is mental sickness."  
Interesting that Sniper was calling his parents- his parents who are already very unsupportive of his career choices. It would be very unfortunate if someone did something to make them even more weary of their son's life decisions... and with that, Spy was already taking out his watch and slinking closer to the huntsman.  
"Dad- Dad. Put- put mum on the phone."  
Sniper sighed, trying to talk over his dad's argument. He had no idea anyone was even within three-hundred feet of him, let alone right behind him.  
"Ngh! Sniper, I told you not to touch me while you're talking to your parents! I'm not into that!"  
Spy practically shouted into the phone, causing Sniper to nearly jump out of his skin. He scrambled to get a hold of the phone again and turned around.  
"What the bloody fuck, Spy?"  
The vein on Sniper's neck was protruding out and his eyebrows strung together. Then, suddenly his eyes widened and he swung the phone back to his ear, remembering about his parents.  
"Sorry, Dad, I-. No Dad, it was just-. Yes, but-. No, I am not-. Dad! I would never!"  
And Spy disappeared... and made sure not to bump into Sniper for the rest of the day.

-

Spy tip-toed around to Heavy's room, pockets filled with corks to plug up Heavy's gun with so that he couldn't fire it. He slowly wedged through the door and promptly froze into a statue. Looks like heavy had the same plan... kind of. Spy swiftly exited the room filled with Heavy's moans and closed the door. The urge to bleach his eyes out was overwhelming, but unfortunately wasn't practical, so he decided to visit another mercenary.


	2. Chapter 2

After Spy slipped something in Sniper's coffee, he circled back around to the infirmary. It was never an easy task to prank Medic. Nobody dared to mess with that man because they all knew what he was capable of. Everyone had seen what awful experiments he had conducted, and he was not merciful. He was twisted and cruel when he wanted to be. He could be a monster.

 _Oh, well._ Spy thought as he merrily skipped down to the infirmary.

His face slowly crept up to the little window on one of the doors. Peering through, he didn't see anyone, so he slowly tip-toed into the room. Perfect. Mwah ha ha ha ha.

 

-

 

About ten minutes later, Spy watched from the corner of the room as Medic walked into the infirmary. The doctor was strolling to his desk, but then suddenly whipped his head around.

"Archimedes! Oh mein Gott! Vho did zhis to you?!"

Medic sprinted towards the birdcage, holding his arms out. His stomps echoed off the walls. Spy just listened and watched with an evil smirk on his lips.

"Archimedes, no!" He violently swung the cage door open and snatched the bird up into his arms. He clutched the animal to his chest and half yelled, half sobbed,"Vho ever did zhis to you, vill pay!"

"Vith his life!" He screamed.

Spy was snorting in the corner and suddenly turned visible. Medic turned towards him, eyes narrowed into a death stare so harsh that Spy could see the murder in his glare. He looked down at his invisi-watch. Dead battery.

"Oh, merde."

Medic snatched up his bonesaw and made a mad dash for the Frenchman. The German pounce onto him and held him down by his neck,"Spy, you schweinhund! How could you?!"

"It iz only a mustache!" He pointed to Archimedes. The bird was on Medic's shoulder with a little black stick-on mustache, it cocked it's head and made a little coo.

"You know good and vell zhat it is not just a mustache! It is an act of var!" Medic raised up his bonesaw above his head and swung it down.

"Medic! I think my coffee was poisoned agai-" Sniper barged in and Medic turned to him as the bushman fell over onto his perfectly sterile floor. Spy took the opportunity to make a run for it and jumped over Sniper's limp body.

Medic finally realised he escaped his grasp,"Spy! You can't run for ever, miststück!" The doctor sighed and pulled off the sticky mustache off of Archimedes, then went back to work. Sniper was left on the floor there for days.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know if you like this story and if I should continue it! Thanks for reading it and have a wonderful day! :)


End file.
